Life After Homeschooling: What Happens When Your Kids Need You Less?

I’m making wigs now.

That is a sentence I did not expect to say when I started this channel.

But here we are.

We are entering our 10th year of homeschooling, and this year we have a 9th grader and a 5th grader. One is starting high school. The other is beginning her final year of elementary school.

And somewhere in the middle of all of that, I’ve started thinking about what life looks like when my kids need me less.

Not because I’m done being a mom.

Not because I’m ready to stop homeschooling.

But because my role is changing.

And I’m finally starting to have a little room to ask, “What’s next?”

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The end of an era

I think there’s something really interesting about this season of life.

For so many years, my main pursuit has been my children, my family, and our home life. And I don’t mean that in a way that suggests I’ve been sitting around doing nothing else. I’m busy. I’m always learning something. I’m always thinking about what needs to be done, what needs to be figured out, what could be better.

But my main pursuit has been homeschooling my children.

And now I have big kids.

I don’t need babysitters for a night out. I don’t need constant handholding. My kids can do things for me now.

Of course I’m still needed. Of course I’m still a support person. But there is so much that I am not doing right now that it has allowed me to get my head above water a little bit.

And when you finally get your head above water, you can start to look around.

You can start to ask what else you might want to do.

What else you might want to learn.

What else might be interesting.

What’s next?

I’m making wigs now

For me, one of those things is learning the art of wig making and wig styling.

I have a cosmetology background. My child is pursuing theater. We live in a city with a lot of large theaters. And I’ve been thinking about how those things might fit together.

Wig making is creative. It’s flexible. It’s something I can pick up when I have time and put down when I don’t.

And it’s something I already have a few skills for.

There are some intricacies with wig making and development that I’m still learning, like lace ventilating and things like that. But I’m excited about the possibility of it.

Not because I have a five-year plan.

Not because I know exactly where it’s going to lead.

Because it sounds fun.

And I think that’s a pretty good reason to start something.

I have a habit of trying to monetize everything

I also have what I would argue is a habitual problem of trying to monetize my efforts.

And I don’t mean that to sound as negative as it does.

I just feel like if I’m investing a lot of energy and effort, it should pay me back in some way.

So when I’m learning something new, I’m often thinking about whether it could become a business. Whether it could become a resource. Whether it could become something useful.

And I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing.

But I’m learning that something can be valuable enough just because I enjoy it.

That’s a little harder for me.

Because I’m a person who likes to get the most out of things.

I like to maximize value.

I like to make sure that the dollars I spend are getting me the most possible value.

And I think there’s a balance in that. There’s a balance between effort and energy cost, time savings, and what you’re actually getting.

But sometimes the value is just that you enjoyed it.

Sometimes the value is that you learned something.

Sometimes the value is that you did something that made you happy.

And that’s enough.

You’re allowed to be a beginner

One of the things I’m most excited about with this new wig-making project is that I’m a beginner.

I have a cosmetology background, but I’m not a wig maker.

I’m learning.

I’m figuring things out.

I’m trying things that I have never tried before.

And I think that’s important to model for our kids.

Because so often, we’re the ones who are supposed to know.

We’re the ones who are supposed to have it figured out.

We’re the ones who are supposed to be the experts.

But I think it’s really important for our kids to see us learning something new.

To see us being bad at something.

To see us trying something and not knowing exactly what we’re doing.

To see us get excited about something that might not become anything.

Because it’s okay to be a beginner.

It’s okay to learn things.

It’s okay to try things.

And it’s okay to do things just because they make you happy.

What else am I learning?

The wig-making project is just one of the things I’m working on right now.

I’m also planning our hopefully soon Parisian trip. I have a color-coded spreadsheet, which is very exciting to me.

I’m learning more about the back end of some of these platforms.

I’ve built all my own websites myself, just by figuring out what I needed to do.

I built this entire channel, filming, lighting, the entire situation, just by figuring out what I wanted to do.

My child’s theater pursuits have been a lot of figuring things out, too. Finding the information, finding the resources, figuring out what to do next.

I’ve also been working on some Michael Clay Thompson vocabulary worksheets that I want for myself, and the kids are loving them. A couple of weeks in, their scores are off the charts, so I’m very happy about that.

And now I need to figure out how to share that with you.

Because apparently, even when I’m trying to relax, I’m still trying to figure out how to get the most out of everything.

Life after homeschooling doesn’t have to mean leaving homeschooling

I think this is something I want to be really clear about.

When I talk about life after homeschooling, I’m not talking about leaving homeschooling.

I’m talking about the way our roles change as our kids grow.

I’m talking about the fact that my kids are getting older, and I’m getting older, and we’re all figuring out what comes next.

I’m talking about the fact that I can still be a mom and have other interests.

I can still be a homeschool mom and learn something new.

I can still be a primary caregiver and want to do something for myself.

And I think that’s important.

Because sometimes we get so caught up in the idea that we have to be everything for everyone that we forget we’re allowed to have our own interests.

We’re allowed to want things.

We’re allowed to learn things.

We’re allowed to do things that make us happy.

What’s your next thing?

I don’t know where the wig-making project is going to lead.

Maybe I’ll get good at it.

Maybe I won’t.

Maybe I’ll end up doing theater wigs.

Maybe I’ll make a mustache.

Maybe I’ll just have a lot of fun learning something new.

And honestly, that’s enough for me.

Because I think life is short.

And I think we deserve to pursue good things for the sake of pursuing them.

So if you’re in a season where your kids are needing you less, or your babies are in school for the first time, or you’re just starting to think about what you want to do next, I hope you give yourself permission to explore.

You don’t have to have a five-year plan.

You don’t have to know exactly where it’s going.

You don’t have to turn it into a business.

You can just start.

What are you working on right now?

What are you learning?

What are you excited about?

What’s your next thing?

I’d love to hear it.

Let’s grow this list.

Let’s inspire each other.

Let’s remind ourselves that we are allowed to be beginners.

And that we are allowed to pursue good things just because they make us happy.

Because the world is on fire and life is short.

And we can keep making every day magic.