I Don’t Love Homeschooling Every Day—and That’s Okay
I don’t love homeschooling every day.
There. I said it.
I’ve been homeschooling for 10 years now, and somehow I think that gives me a little permission to say the quiet part out loud.
I love homeschooling.
I love the life we’ve built around it. I love the flexibility. I love having the freedom to follow an interest down a rabbit hole. I love watching my kids grow into themselves instead of trying to squeeze them into one predetermined mold.
But I don’t love homeschooling every day.
And I don’t think that means I don’t love homeschooling.
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You Can Love Homeschooling and Still Have Hard Days
I think sometimes we accidentally create this expectation that if we chose homeschooling, we should be grateful for every minute of it.
We’re supposed to love the slow mornings.
We’re supposed to love the read-alouds.
We’re supposed to love the nature walks.
We’re supposed to love the flexibility.
We’re supposed to be endlessly patient while simultaneously creating beautiful educational experiences for our children.
And when we don’t feel like doing any of that?
It can feel like we’re doing something wrong.
But homeschooling is not fundamentally different from the other things we love in our lives.
I love being married.
Some days marriage is hard.
I love being a parent.
Some days parenting is hard.
I love my children.
Some days I would very much like everyone to stop talking to me.
The fact that something is valuable to you doesn’t mean you will enjoy every single moment of doing it.
Homeschooling is no different.
Sometimes Homeschool Is Just Hard
There are a lot of things that can make homeschooling feel heavy.
There’s the pressure of getting it right.
There’s the pressure of other people’s opinions.
There’s the pressure we put on ourselves.
There’s curriculum.
There’s money.
There’s time.
There’s the constant decision-making.
There’s the lack of sleep.
There’s the house.
There’s the laundry.
There’s whatever everyone else in your family happens to need that day.
And then there is the simple reality that sometimes you just don’t want to.
Sometimes homeschooling isn’t even the problem.
Sometimes you woke up tired.
Sometimes somebody had a terrible morning.
Sometimes you dropped the bread on the floor.
Sometimes you forgot to make coffee.
Sometimes the weather is beautiful and sitting inside doing worksheets feels ridiculous.
Sometimes there’s a friend’s birthday party.
Sometimes there’s a performance.
Sometimes you just need to get out of the house.
Some days you would rather be doing anything else.
That’s life.
So What Do I Do When I Don’t Want to Homeschool?
I change it.
This is one of the biggest advantages of homeschooling, and I think sometimes we forget to actually use it.
If I am having a particularly hard day, I don’t necessarily force myself to push through the plan exactly as written.
Sometimes we clean the house.
Sometimes we go somewhere fun.
Sometimes we go for a walk.
Sometimes we go to the beach.
Sometimes we have a pajama day.
Sometimes we keep doing school in our pajamas.
Sometimes we give ourselves an early cutoff and watch a movie.
Sometimes we lean into the things that actually bring us joy.
And sometimes we just do math and call it a day.
Because here’s something I’ve learned after a decade of doing this:
One bad homeschool day is not going to ruin your child’s education.
Neither is one bad week.
Neither is taking a day off because everybody has reached their limit.
The Gift of Building Flexibility Into Your Homeschool
One of the ways I’ve made this easier on myself is by planning for reality instead of pretending reality won’t happen.
When I plan our homeschool year, I don’t plan exactly 36 perfect weeks of academics.
I plan academically for fewer weeks and give myself additional weeks and days on the calendar.
Why?
Because we will not.
We will not have a perfect school day every day.
We will not complete everything exactly as planned.
Someone will get sick.
Someone will have an appointment.
Something fun will come up.
I’ll be exhausted.
My kids will be exhausted.
We’ll have somewhere to go.
We’ll need a break.
And I want room for that.
We also use a four-day school week, which gives us another layer of flexibility.
There is always something else going on.
Extracurriculars.
Appointments.
Birthdays.
Performances.
Field trips.
Friends.
Life.
I don’t want our homeschool schedule so tightly packed that one unexpected Tuesday destroys the entire week.
So I build in space.
That space gives me something incredibly valuable:
peace.
When I know there is room in the schedule, I don’t have to feel guilty when we use it.
A Hard Day Is Not the Same Thing as a Bad Homeschool
This distinction matters.
You can have a terrible homeschool day and still have a good homeschool.
You can have a week where everyone is cranky.
You can have a season where you’re tired.
You can fall behind.
You can change the curriculum.
You can decide that a particular subject isn’t working.
You can outsource something.
None of those things automatically mean homeschooling has failed.
Sometimes the homeschool just needs to change.
And that’s one of the reasons I love homeschooling.
We’re allowed to change it.
But What If You Really Don’t Want to Homeschool Anymore?
This is where I think we need to be honest in the other direction, too.
Sometimes “I don’t love homeschooling today” is just a bad day.
But what if it’s every day?
What if you hate homeschooling?
What if your kids hate homeschooling?
What if everyone in your house is miserable?
Please don’t ignore that.
You don’t have to keep homeschooling because you told someone you would.
You don’t have to keep homeschooling because you spent money on curriculum.
You don’t have to keep homeschooling because you built your identity around it.
And you certainly don’t have to keep homeschooling because some other homeschool mom on the internet told you that quitting means you weren’t committed enough.
It is okay to change your mind.
It is okay to pivot.
It is okay to outsource.
It is okay to take a break.
And yes, it is okay to quit.
Send your kids to school if that is what your family needs.
There is no prize for suffering the most.
Homeschooling Is a Collaborative Experience
I’ve always thought of our homeschool as a collaborative experience.
It’s not just my education project that everyone else has to endure.
Everyone in our family has to be getting something they need from this.
That doesn’t mean my kids get to dictate every subject or that we never have hard days.
Kids don’t always love the things that are good for them.
But their experience matters.
My experience matters too.
If I’m constantly miserable, that affects the entire family.
And if my kids are miserable, that matters too.
The goal isn’t to prove that we can homeschool.
The goal is to build a life and an education that actually works for the people living it.
The Days Are Long, but the Years Are Short
I’ve heard the phrase “the days are long, but the years are short” a million times in parenting.
It applies to homeschooling, too.
There will be days when you are struggling to get through anything.
There will be days when math is all you can manage.
There will be days when you don’t get anything done.
There will be days when you hit your limit before your children have even finished breakfast.
And that’s okay.
You don’t have to make every day meaningful.
You don’t have to make every day magical.
You just have to keep showing up in a way that is sustainable.
And sometimes showing up means saying:
Not today.
Sometimes showing up means pajamas.
Sometimes it means the beach.
Sometimes it means a movie.
Sometimes it means calling Grandpa and asking him to handle math.
Sometimes it means stepping away.
And sometimes it means admitting that this isn’t working anymore.
None of those things erase the good days.
None of them erase the years you’ve already put into homeschooling.
None of them make you a bad homeschool parent.
Homeschool Isn’t Fragile
This may be the biggest thing I want you to take away from all of this.
Homeschool isn’t fragile.
You can put it down.
You can pick it back up.
You can change the schedule.
You can change the curriculum.
You can change the way you teach.
You can change the number of days you homeschool.
You can outsource.
You can take a season.
You can change your mind.
Maybe homeschooling worked beautifully for your family for five years and then it didn’t.
Maybe you are having a terrible few weeks but things will feel completely different next month.
Maybe you are brand new and wondering why everyone online made this look so much easier.
Maybe you’re ten years in like me and still occasionally want to throw the entire plan out the window.
All of those things can be true.
Nothing is permanent.
Everything has seasons.
And you are allowed to pay attention to the season you’re actually in.
So if today is a hard homeschool day, take a breath.
You don’t have to love today.
You don’t have to make today Pinterest-worthy.
You don’t even have to finish everything you planned.
Maybe today is the day you do math and call it.
Maybe today is the day you put everyone in pajamas.
Maybe today is the day you go to the beach.
And maybe tomorrow you’ll pick it back up.
Because the goal was never to create a perfect homeschool.
The goal is to create a life that works.
And that, to me, is a much more sustainable kind of magic.
