When we first started talking seriously about homeschooling, I didn’t know anyone who homeschooled.
There wasn’t a homeschool community around me. I didn’t have a group of moms I could text when I had questions. I wasn’t surrounded by people who could tell me what curriculum they loved or what their homeschool days looked like.
In fact, there were plenty of people around us who thought homeschooling was the wrong decision.
Why would we do that?
How could we possibly do it?
The kids did fine in public school.
That’s not normal.
There was a lot of noise.
And because homeschooling was such a big decision for us, we needed something underneath all of that noise. We needed to know why we were choosing this path.
Ten years later, I still think that’s one of the most important things a homeschool family can do.
But I also think there’s something else worth saying:
Your why is allowed to change.
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Our original reason for homeschooling
When we first started considering homeschooling, my oldest child was ahead of her peers academically.
That was a huge part of our original decision.
We believed that putting her into a traditional school setting might mean that she wouldn’t continue progressing at the pace she had been. We wanted to see what would happen if we could give her an educational experience that moved with her rather than requiring her to move at the pace of an entire classroom.
That was our starting point.
It wasn’t complicated.
It wasn’t particularly philosophical.
It was essentially:
She’s ahead. We want to help her stay there.
And honestly?
Ten years later, that’s still part of our why.
I still believe both of my children are academically ahead of their same-age, same-grade counterparts in many areas, and I like having the ability to give them room to go deeper rather than simply moving on because the calendar says it’s time.
But that’s not the whole story anymore.
Not even close.
Our why grew as our children grew
One of the biggest things I’ve learned after a decade of homeschooling is that there isn’t necessarily one universal reason for homeschooling.
Even within the same family.
My children are very different people.
They have different interests, different strengths, different personalities, different goals, and different needs.
So our homeschool has evolved around those differences.
My younger child loves animals. She has had multiple years of fairly advanced biology under her belt while still in elementary school. Being able to lean into that interest is part of why homeschooling makes sense for her.
We can spend more time on the things she is genuinely fascinated by.
We can introduce her to opportunities connected to those interests.
We can take her to a career fair at the zoo during a school day.
We can let an interest become part of her education rather than treating it as something she has to wait to explore after school.
My older child has taken a very different path.
She has pursued performing arts, and homeschooling gives us the flexibility to take advantage of daytime performance opportunities and put her in places that are specifically useful to the path she’s pursuing.
Could she have found opportunities like that in a traditional school?
Of course.
I’m not arguing that homeschooling is the only way to support a child with particular interests.
But the flexibility of our homeschool makes those opportunities much easier to incorporate into her education.
And that’s part of our why now.
There are academic reasons. There are practical reasons. And yes, there are selfish reasons.
Our why includes wanting to keep our children academically challenged.
It includes being able to tailor learning around their interests.
It includes deeper history and social studies.
It includes music and piano during the day.
It includes daytime performances.
It includes educational experiences that would be much harder to fit around a traditional school schedule.
And it includes flexibility.
Sometimes that flexibility is incredibly meaningful.
Sometimes it is just convenient.
And sometimes it’s downright selfish.
Cheaper vacations were pretty high on my list.
I’m not even going to pretend otherwise.
Being able to travel when prices are lower and schedules are more flexible is a real benefit of homeschooling for our family.
So is having a little more breathing room in our everyday schedule.
I don’t think every reason has to sound noble to count.
Your why doesn’t have to be huge
If you’re considering homeschooling and you haven’t figured out your why yet, I don’t think you need to come up with some enormous mission statement.
Your why can be small.
It can be practical.
It can be temporary.
It can be something that only makes sense for your family.
Maybe your child needs more flexibility.
Maybe they’re pursuing something that takes up a lot of time during the school day.
Maybe you’re dealing with a particular situation that makes traditional school difficult right now.
Maybe you live far from town and don’t want your child riding the bus.
Maybe you’re a one-car family and the logistics simply work better this way.
Maybe you’re trying to give your child more academic challenge.
Maybe you’re trying to give them less.
Maybe homeschooling is what makes sense for this season.
That is enough.
Your why is also allowed to change
This might be the part I most want homeschool parents to hear.
You don’t have to stay committed to a reason that no longer applies.
If your why has changed, pay attention to that.
If the thing that originally brought you to homeschooling is no longer true, that doesn’t automatically mean you’ve failed.
It might mean you need to refine your homeschool.
It might mean you need to change how you’re doing things.
It might mean you need to change your educational path entirely.
And I think that’s okay.
After ten years, I am still adding to and amending our why.
Because my children aren’t the same children they were when we started.
I’m not the same parent.
Our circumstances aren’t the same.
And our homeschool doesn’t need to be frozen in time just because we made a decision ten years ago.
Know your why for each child
I also think it’s important to know your why for each child.
Not every child needs the same thing.
In fact, I know families where siblings have completely different educational paths.
One child might attend public school.
Another might homeschool.
Another might attend private school.
Another might participate in a hybrid program.
There isn’t a rule that says every child in a family has to receive the exact same education.
For our family, homeschooling has worked for both of my children, but their experiences within our homeschool are very different.
Their benefits are different.
Their interests are different.
Their paths are different.
And that’s because they’re different people.
That’s what I want our homeschool to do: serve the learners in front of me.
Not some imaginary “homeschool child.”
My children.
Your why is your compass
After ten years, I think of my why almost like a mission statement.
Why am I doing this?
Why am I willing to make these sacrifices?
Why am I spending this money?
Why am I researching this curriculum?
Why am I relearning algebra?
Why am I rearranging our schedule?
Why am I choosing this opportunity instead of that one?
When you know the answers, decisions become a little easier.
Not necessarily easy.
But easier.
Your why helps you figure out which resources actually make sense.
It helps you recognize when something isn’t serving your child.
It helps you explain your choices when other people question them.
And it gives you something to return to when homeschooling gets hard.
But perhaps most importantly, your why can tell you when it’s time to change direction.
Because your why isn’t supposed to trap you.
It’s supposed to help you understand your purpose.
And sometimes understanding your purpose means recognizing that the path you are currently on isn’t the path you need anymore.
So if you’re homeschooling, or considering homeschooling, I would encourage you to sit down and ask yourself:
Why?
Why this?
Why now?
Why for this child?
And is that answer still true?
You don’t need an impressive answer.
You just need an honest one.
And if the answer changes six months from now—or five years from now—you can change with it.
That’s not failure.
That’s parenting.
That’s education.
And honestly, that’s life.
